finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester
like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you
wack.
humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?
evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise*
Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:
Periods
Bad backs
Permanent breasts that do not leave once baby is weaned
Dangerously large, unprotected, and non retractable male reproductive systems
Huge brain takes up way too much energy gotta eat more sleep less
Baby brain bigger than hips guess birth is life threatening now
Takes like 25 years for big brain to even finish maturing
•Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.
•Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.
•Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.
•knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.
In high school I used to “break” the computers in class by taking a screenshot of the desktop, setting the desktop background as the screenshot, deleting all the icons then hiding/locking the task bar.
Otters secrete thick oils in their fur that help them to be more hydrodynamic and water resistant. Without some kind of cleaning regime, they would like sloths grow plant matter in their persistently moist fur. Whether it be algae, fungi, moss, or other kinds of small plants.
The tree has a circle of absence around it in part because the tree excretes an herbicidal resin; this is a common property of trees particularly conifers.
The otters are rolling around in the dirt around the tree to clean themselves of microscopic insects with the coarse silicone (like with diatomaceous earth) and to coat themselves in herbicidal resins to keep them from growing things.
